I can feel the lack of hope by those around me, both virtually and physically.  It's a bitter pill to swallow. 

However, the support I am getting is something I wrap up in a box and store until I need it.  It's encouraging to have others sending good thoughts our way.  Thank you.

I'm handling this situation much better than I would typically expect from myself.  I'm not continuously falling apart.  I'm not destroying things—besides the cleanliness of my home.  And I'm not bumbling nude through the sagebrush.  It's probably in part from medication and part from the absolute need to recover him.

I don't have much to report.  Last night was bitterly cold so we set up a Kitty Buffet with Jack Mackerel and tuna.  J touched the Jack Mackerel with bare hands and has been making comments relating to vulvas all day.  I'm married to a pervert and I'm proud of it—he'll probably vomit up his prostate when he realizes his wife posts bits of information he'd probably prefer to keep between us. 

At 3 AM I went outside for an hour and called him.  I nearly turned into an icicle in the process, especially when I sat on the ground for 20 minutes.  My butt did not appreciate that move.  I thought I heard him several times but I'm just wanting to hear him so badly that I'm pretty sure I'm making it up.  I did, however, hear that sound that I assumed was a deranged bird.  I'm not so sure anymore.  The sound is vaguely reminiscent of a cat fight, but not really.  I wondered if it was a creature, like a rabbit or mouse, being hunted.  Maybe it was Sunkist trying to make his way towards me and being chased by another cat.  I have no idea, but it made me want to run the 5 acres to get to the noise and help whoever may have been in a bad situation.  But that's an absurd idea.  Thankfully I realized it.

This morning a good portion of the Jack Mackerel was gone.  The tuna wasn't touched.  Apparently cats like food that smells like the perfume Vulva.  I'm assuming this information, of course.  I don't happen to own Vulva.

Our night vision camera will arrive tomorrow and hopefully we'll get footage of him coming to eat.  I hope he is.  Also, my mom may fly in this weekend and help call him.  He'd been living with my parents for a year and he comes to her so hopefully that happens.  If it does it's a sure sign that when he looks at me he says "Not the Mama!"

It's been 22 days.